PETA gets porn “star” arrested over animal cruelty or something

Okay, kids, I know you all like porn. And I know that you’re not quite sure where babies come from but you know you like the tingly feeling between your legs. So what if you need to watch really effed-up material to get that feeling?

I’m not even gonna tell you what went down in this news story. Some porn chick did something with an animal and PETA got all crazy about it. God said the animals are ours to rule, I’m assuming this includes porn, kids.

My problem with this story?? The term porn “star”!!!! Her name is Megan Jones. Let me say, she’s no porn star. No star would be named something so damn plain.

Why does a rock star have to produce something enough people know about to be considered a star? Why does a pop star even get his name shouted by many crying stupid teeny-boppers? And why does a movie star actually sell tickets? But anyone ANYONE who has her boyfriend convince her to get into the only thing she can actually make money in becomes a star? A star?!?

Back in my day the term porn star meant something, kids. I want to bring those days back.

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I quit Facebook today!

But I don’t have a way to tell all my Facebook friends, kids! The irony!!!

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Old Woman Spinning Game

This is so wrong, kids.

Spin Spin Sugar

But so very funny.

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Cruise Ship kills two more!

This time the cruise ship killed employees! It’s nice to see that cruise ships don’t only murder paying customers. Not sure what a berthing accident is, but it probably has nothing to do with cruise ships.

when cruise ships attack

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Dummies light themselves on fire in “marijuana lab”

First, wtf is a marijuana lab, kids? Isn’t that just a garden?

in my day, we didn’t need no stinking lab.

 

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Reporters gone mad

Let’s take a break from the cincinnati murders, hot chicks and cruise ships. I just thought this was funny, kids.

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